19.7.08

S.E.X.

I think what tagged your attention the most about this entry is the title. Well, it may be what you are thinking about, or it may not. But trust me, I am just being real. Stone me if you want.....here it goes.

For close to 3 years I have been battling with myself about being something that is not of this world. Which is a good thing, it's not until today that I found out that I am a MAN of GOD. I did not plan on spending 5 hours in church today. I really got insight on the type of person I am, they type of person I need to be, and the type of person I need to be around. One thing that stuck out about me the most is that I am 19 years old, and have yet to have sex. Some people look at it as a gift while some others look at it as a curse. If I were to tell you that I have never been tempted to have sex, it would be a lie. I am tempted everyday, and it's hard to pull through. The only way to make it easier is to embody myself in the house of the LORD, indulge myself in HIS words, and saturate myself in HIS will. I have stuck and struggled to do that, but it's the reason why I am still a virgin today. I want to wait until marriage. I noticed one thing about myself, the thought of being married with a family excites me. I burn with passion to love and to be loved. But there is a way to go through that, and it's through GOD. GOD created love, family, friendship, relationships, marriage, and even sex. Sex is a gift from GOD that is supposed to be shared between two people who are married. I am currently in a ordeal with a counterpart from a long time ago. LORD knows I am in love, and I think you all should know to. Slick is in love. I have caught myself seriously battling on whether or not I want to loose my virginity, because I am in love. I feel that my bond to hold my virginity is blockading certain emotions and effection. I want those emotions and effection, but would I really go through a great length to get them? Would I disrespect GOD? Will I go against what HE asked me to do? Will I walk as a sinner in Satan's eyes? I didn't ask the question directly, but the simple fact that I am asking myself, "Should I do it" is pretty much the same thing. I want to make this person happy but I love GOD more. I realised that I should be more focused on whether I the person is embodied in GOD'S word. Only that way can I know if the person is the right one for me. Considering that I want to be with that person in a thorough relationship through GOD, the person has to be of GOD also. If not, then there is no way we can work out. I had a talk with my peer counselor who is a great man of GOD. His relationship is so healthy, pure, and mature. It's because it is led by GOD. He told me that my relationship is like a see-saw. I'm at the top while my counter part sinks a little lower than me. We need to be balanced and come together. That's how a lot of relationships are, but the sad thing is that the person is coming down out of the bond of GOD. If they're balanced, they're balanced in sin. It's said but that's how it is in this world today. I sit back and look at everything that is going on and how blessed I am. How dare I question whether or not I should loose my virginity before marriage. A real MAN or a real WOMAN will but down what they want, and pick up what GOD wants. That's what my peer counselor told me. I am hear to say that I am a REAL man. My question to you is, are you a real man? Are you a real woman? Look at your life, does it revolve around GOD's will? If not, you should feel the need to do some self searching. Fam, we are living in the last days of this world. GOD is coming back and we need to be on our p's and q's with CHRIST. Get out of sin, get out of fornication, get out of drugs and alcohol, get out of backstabbing. The bible says that a person that is not of GOD is dead, not literally, but spiritually. Their spirit is caught in sin and is dead. Therefore they experience lust, greed, envy, anger, depression, addiction. When a person is having sex outside marriage, they are sinning. A person who is sinning has a dead spirit, like corpse. You are basically having sex with a corpse. Never thought about that? Neither did I, if you are sinning and not in the eye of GOD, your spirit is DEAD. I sit back and look at sin through other people. If you look with the eyes I look at, you will see that sin is one of the most disgusting, nasty, and rotten things to ever exist. When you are caught in sin, the devil is pimpin, whorin, backstabbing, and spitting in your face. I want to stay out of sin, and stay away from it. GOD recognizes that and because of that, HE is seriously pick and weaving people in and out of my life in a matter of days. I see what I need to be around and what I need to stay away from. GOD said, you are either hot or cold, if you are lukewarm I will spew you out. So you are for GOD or not for GOD. In the middle wont cut it and HE will take HIS canopy of grace away from you. Alot of people that I have been around the past year have been about stuff that I shouldn't have been about. I will never talk down about them, because I know they mean no harm. It's ultimately up to me on whether or not I will let the things they do impact me. Coming into this next school year, I'm giving up on the drinking, going to the clubs, and all the other stuff. I also will be seperating from the people who don't have the right influence on me. Nothing personal, it's just that I love GOD more. Alot of people who I thought were my friends really are just an associate, or a course. I sight to see of what I should not be or be around. GOD has been too good to me to see me drinking, or in a club doing GOD knows what, or see me cussing up a storm. I have not been all that holy either so don't look at me as acting holier than you all. I'm just recognizing that I need a serious change in life, and a social circle. If the one I love can't be about my path with GOD, then I can't be down with her..easy as that. Because that would mean that she is not down for me. It's the necessary moves I have to make in order to keep my eye on HIM. He has already given me everything I need, so I must stick with HIM so HE can give me the correct things I want. For the ones who have pride and thinks that they're tough. People can make you or break you, you have get the cataracts out of your eye and let the Holy Spirit speak to you. I can't be brought down or broken anymore, the wages of sin is death and I can't die. Only with Jesus can I live eternally. I only ask you to see what choices you are going make, take the right path. Believers in Christ have fun too. Right now, Jesus is making me happier than I have ever been. I want you to be that happy too. If you need anything, want to no more, comment, text me, call me, facebook me, myspace me. If you need my number message me on facebook or myspace. This is something that everybody should want to be entitled to. Peace and Love always.

GOD BLESS,

joshua[slick]

2 comments:

chill till infinity said...

ay man i just want you to know ur not alone. i too go through the same things u go through. I am also tryna with stain from sex and wait till marriage. This is a good message u got here.I too am tryna live my life according to GOD.
hit me up on facebook if u ever wanna talk more about it
god bless

A sister in christ said...

Hey!
wow, this is random.
But it was randomly looking for this bible verse on google, and clicked this page by accident. But now I dont think it was an accident. I read all of that, and its truly amazing! And it helped me out alot. Thank you.
Keep pursuing an awesome relationship with Christ and praying for his will for you!
He has a purpose for everything!
:)

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