Forgiven but trying to forget.

If everyone knows me, I am the type of person that forgives and forgets. Or tries his best to forget, and I seriously emphasize "tries". I am not trying to complain or sound like a punk, but I was seriously a victim during high school. I was the "yo-yo", started up top and ended all the way down. Trust me, it was not easy. But with the heart of Jesus, I always forgive. So I did, but you know how they say, forgive and forget. I am eating my pride, I swear, and forgetting everything. But I promise you, every little thing back added up and the sum still lingers. It affects my train of thought sometime and I don't like it. I tend to hold back things that I shouldn't say, and if I do, I start to wish that I don't. Because I SWEAR to you, I am not that "yo-yo" anymore. I am not going to end up at the bottom. That vow has built up a guard so tough that I sometimes can't see through it. Just work with me and keep it real and there will be no problem, because history is playing it self over again. And we didn't have a very good history.