Waiting for my aunts funeral...

It's hours before my aunt's funeral, and it's a heavy anticipation. Honestly, I don't like funerals. I have always had this kind of weird phobias to caskets and stuff like that. I hate to see people sad, it always rubs off on me. But then again, a funeral is probably the one thing that can piece broken links back together. I remember Desi and Lensay's funeral, I saw so many faces that I haven't seen and really miss. Aside from my queens passing on to the spiritual realm, it brought tears to my eyes to see everybody. Old drama was today's peace, and I was happy about that. So, tomorrow I am prepared to see family that I have not seen in a while. I hope tension from two years ago can be today's relief and relaxation. One thing that has always remained a chip on my shoulder was the fact that people feel as if the only need to be real when someone passes. It's a shame, shouldn't realness be the depth of everyone words and actions? Oh I forgot, we are living on earth. But really, next time you feel that you need to be fake. I advise you to think over it, you can save yourself alot time, drama, anger, violence, and depression. Whether it's from you or someone else. But my aunt will be missed, always curious about EVERYTHING. She was never really up to date with today's technology. She stuck to her cigarettes, her cat Peaches, and her puzzles. Trust me, my aunti could out puzzle you. I used to be into puzzles along time ago, we did some together. I remember my other aunt bought me some Pokemon puzzles back in the day for my birthday and I put all four or five of them together in minutes (..gee I hope I still have them :-\). But all is all, I love my aunt and I will miss her. I still smile because she is up there saving a place for me. R.I.P Aunt Ellen

As for me, I'm still Josh or whatever you call me. Work is work, work is hard, work is far from scarce, but I gets the work done and therefore I love my work. Work keeps my mind thinking, what do or write next. Should I step with my left foot or my right foot? That's work for you man, whether it's a simple question or a 2-4 page mock interview with an author from one of your philosophy textbooks. I was reading Kanye West's blog and he said something that caught me (as well as everything else he says):

"I don't do anything I don't love anymore... I loved the flashing lights vid so it didn't matter 2 me if someone one else didn't. While people chase money I pursue happiness. So many people talk about there investments or how much money they have but there's so many rich people who spend a lot of that trying 2 buy a piece of happiness. If there's anything my mom taught me is to enjoy life. I just recorded my first verse in the last 6 months 2 days ago at Bape's Studio in Japan. It felt good and I was inspired. I absolutely lost my mind (in a good way) on the new Glow in the Dark tour. The constant hours of creating helped me 2 keep from loosing my mind in a bad way. Chris Milk told me tragedy can produce great art and this is definitely true. I am a total mad man now, up till 3 am every night, trying 2 fight pain, board-um, and uncertainty with creativity. All that said, life is good..... good as finding the perfect fabric for a simple one button casual blazer with matching pants."

I never want people to ask me why I dig Kanye West so much. His work is expressed to me in way other than just his music. He loves what he does, no one can tell him otherwise, and he is allianced with GOD as the master of his own life. I love what I do, and I call the shots in my own life. That's why you guys like me, you all understand me. My work is give you inspirational words, insight, and a different outlook on life...... AND I LOVE IT!!! My purpose is to live life for my real friends and family, I live it for you because it's too short to live it for me. I hope that you can take what I give and just expand, because the day will come when I have to punch my ticket. I hope that when I'm not around, my words and work will still be here through you.

I Love You All,

joshua [slick]

*part 2 to the story coming next week*